Which way to turn
by Eagle Alchemist
Summary: <html><head></head>Upon reuniting, which way will he turn? Will he be able to part from either of the ones that each hold his heart? Drabble 4 of 4, Yaoi, Adult material, a touch of angst lol. Hope ya'll like the finally to my little drabble series</html>


**Which way to turn**

_By: Chrissy Howe_

The entire train ride was a mix of excitement, anticipation and remorse. I knew what I was planning was wrong. It was a betrayal. Sure I was going to visit with old friends, but I was also planning to visit with _him_. To see if I truly could be happy with or without him. I had to know one way or the other. That left my stomach in knots the entire trip and for the first time in my life, I couldn't eat a thing. That was absolutely not like me at all.

Pulling into the station, I was greeted by the old gang on the platform. Familiar faces, smiles and slaps on the back. But one face was absent. The one I truly _wanted _to see. That made my heart sink and I felt sick. Though it was good to see everyone else, I really wanted to see him the most. I had to. It was important, a crucial moment in my life, to see what my future was going to hold for me and my children.

Spending practically the entire day with the old group, was fun I have to admit. Just relaxing and having drinks, not doing much besides catching up. I relayed all my stories of travelling west and of what I had heard from my brother Alphonse, who was currently in Xing. He had been there a while, studying under the tutelage of May Chang. Though I was sure, there was something going on between them. If so, I was happy for him.

As the early evening drew in and the group filtered away, I made for the hotel. But half way there, I passed a familiar street and stopped dead in my tracks. It wouldn't take too long to just detour here and be at his door in moments. It was closer than the hotel. If I could crash there it would save me money _and _give us a chance to talk things over. We needed to talk, I couldn't go on like this, living my life torn between two people I loved.

I turned and took a step, then hesitated.

What if he was mad that I showed up at his door unannounced? What if he had stayed away because he didn't feel the same as I did? What if I was just a fling to him? I was about to turn back towards the hotel, but then my heart chose for me and I strode forwards down the street to my right. Nearing the end, I took a left, then another right and was now only feet from his door.

How would he react, to my showing up? Would he invite me in?

Nervously I made my way to the front stoop and then lifted a shaking hand to rap upon his door. I waited, my pulse racing with a mix of fear and anticipation. Finally the door opened and there he stood. The soft crackle of a fire burning in the background. The scent of burnt embers filling the air. His shirt partly undone and that ebony hair mussed just right to look good. Casual slacks cover his lower half and he looks, so damn good.

"Hey." I say, trying to be casual with my tone, but I feel those dark eyes boring into me and I swallow hard. It's like old times, I can't resist the pull he has on me. He steps aside and gestures silently for me to enter, so I do. As the door closes, I wonder...

...what will happen next?

**00000000**

_Today was the day. I knew it, but chose to stay away. There was no chance I could stop myself from whisking _him_ away from the others to be alone with him. It would be torture to have to share the time with them. So, to make sure they all got to see him, I stayed home. Though even doing that, was difficult enough. I longed to be near him again to see, if what I felt was returned at all. I had to know, but it would be too achingly painful if he had shied away from me, had I gone._

_So, here I sat. Alone in my home, sitting in the very chair I had experienced so many daydreams that seemed to me so real, of him and our times together. The day wore on too slowly for my liking. By now he was probably heading for his hotel, to get some rest after being met at the station and spending the day catching up. It seemed, I wasn't even a blip on his radar. So, that was how it was to be then? I guess those times we spent, wrapped around each other and covered in sweat meant so little to him that I, in turn, meant so little to him._

_Puttering about in here, has become boring and I hate it. I feel trapped, locked up in a prison cell somewhere in my own home. I tried to read. That failed me since all I could think of was him and all the books I had tried to read, all reminded me of him in some way. Eating only did the same and my stomach couldn't handle holding down food right now. My guts twisted and ached. It was like I was about to wretch at any moment, but nothing ever seemed to happen. So I resigned myself to drinking coffee. But as early evening drew in, I switched that for hard liquor._

_I needed something strong to knock me out for the night, Scotch was all I had. After I had poured my second glass and was sitting by my open fire, I heard a soft rapping on my front door. I glanced at the clock and wondered to myself, whom that could be. I set my glass down and made for the door, opening it wide and getting the shock of my life. There he was before me. The one I had longed to see and yet had purposely stayed away from today. My heart lurched in my chest at the sight if him. He looked so good and so mature now._

_He looks at me expectantly and I see, what I think, is a glimmer of _something _in those golden eyes._

_I'm shocked into utter silence. The very sight of him on my front stoop, is not something I was not expecting. But it isn't as though I am about to turn him away, as that mix of emotions plays over his handsome features. So much stronger in the face now. A chiselled jaw, with clean shaven skin and that hair, as always framing his face. Those eyes are just as intense, though they also hold a more wise hue to them now. Maturity suits him, I think and it only makes me want him more. But I have to play this right, not rush it, see what he wants._

_I step aside and beckon him inside, slowly closing the door afterwards._

_"May I take your coat?" I ask him, finally finding my own voice, as he sets his travelling case down by the hall table. He nods and sheds his coat, as I reach for it, fingers graze together and it's like a bolt of lightning coursing through my entire body. I hear him gasp, as our eyes meet and it seems, he has felt that spark too._

_Could it be? Are we both on the same wavelength? Do we want the same thing?_

_I cannot take the pussy footing around any longer, I drop his coat and pin him against the wall by the living room doorway. Another gasp, but this one sounds as though it is laced with lust. I know that sound, he always sounded that way right before he would pounce. And so he doesn't even try to disappoint me. In one swift move, he has hold of me and our lips are locked in a heat filled kiss, tongues battling for power, ultimately he caves and lets me win. He always did do that._

_He loved the chase, and I loved the hunt. That was why we fit so perfectly together._

**00000000**

I might have known he would do this. It was something that always used to happen, when I came over to see him. He would pin me and I would love it. I would kiss him recklessly and he would love it. That tell tale groan he let out, was proof enough to me, that we both wanted this badly. I pushed off the wall and started to back him up, then turned him, in the direction of the living room door. I was always good at judging where it was.

_I'm taken by surprise, when he pulls his famous little move, of walking me back then spinning me round to back me into the living room. He loved to show off that his spacial awareness was supreme to mine sometimes. I knew where we were going though, he loved to be in front of the fire. The living room was his preferred place to do things. That and it's proximity to the kitchen. I knew, that once things settled down, he would be staving, as would I no doubt. _

As I back him into the my favourite room of his home, my hands are desperately clawing at his clothing, trying to rid him of the cloth that is the barrier between us. All the while our lips met and parted in a fevered bout of kissing. He clawed at my clothing too, like it was the bane of his existence. I got his shirt open and then slid it from his shoulders, my hands raking over that smooth bare chest and hearing his groan as I grazed my finger nails lightly over his flesh.

_More, I wanted so much more that I felt as though breathing was impossible. The heat, was like being in an inferno. My own flames couldn't get this hot at all. Shedding his shirt, I worked eagerly at his pants. I just couldn't stop myself, I had to, just had to have him. Feel his skin against mine and his body writhe under me too. The room was so hot and the scents were a heady mix of the raw passion, the open fire and our sweat as we worked to undress the other at a fast pace._

I backed him up to the edge of the couch and when he couldn't move back any further, I leaned and we both fell upon the couch, wriggling like mad to get out of our pants and boxers. The moment of contact, was exhilarating. Raw naked flesh against raw naked flesh. Hot, sticky with sweat and pre-cum, flushed from the exertion of moving from one room to another and stripping each other. Our lips met again, this time a little slower, like we were savouring it. I know I was.

_The force of the couch meeting my back, was enough to wind me slightly, but it was a delicious feeling. I could feel our bare shafts rubbing against each other, as we writhed together on the couch. Making it creak and complain at our joint moving and weight. I didn't care, since his hands were travelling and exploring my body and it was heaven. My own hands were all over his torso and his ass, lightly scratching and making him growl lowly into the kiss. Vibrations shivered me to my core._

_Oh how I wanted this..._

Oh how I wanted this...

Thrusting my hips, I grind against him and feel my own member twitch with delight. This is so much better than some hard ground in the middle of nowhere. A slight pang of guilt runs through me, for the other who holds part of my heart, who bore my children and who loves me with all that she is. But this heat, this sensation...I never got that with her. With her it was different, another feeling that he, cannot give me.

Is it the best or worst, of both worlds? Is this right or wrong? Right now, I don't care to think too hard on it, since I can feel my need rising and I can read his like we have never been apart. Though it has been years, we still know the other so well, as he pinched my nipple and makes my body arch. He knows all my weak spots and teases me deftly by playing with them. I release his lips and move to the neck, biting hard and hearing him groan wantonly, bucking up against my body.

Shifting I line up, not caring about preparation or that it might hurt a little...

Oh how I need this...

_Oh how I need this..._

_More than I can ever put into words. I am trying to meet every thrust he gives me. I tease his entire body and he then attacks my own weak spot, my neck, biting me hard and I groan. My member throbs in response to it. I buck and he returns my grinding, pinning me to the couch and working me up into a damn near frenzy. I'm clawing at him, as he lines up. I'm about to say wait, to warn him about preparing so that I don't hurt him, but he seems too determined. Just like he always used to be when searching for that elusive stone. _

_Gripping his hips, I aid him in steadying as he lowers onto my hard, stiff cock, holing it in one hand, he slides onto me with ease. Inside he is hot and tight, like he has not gone so far as to use some other means to get his rocks off from that end. He must have wanted me badly, since I felt no resistance when I entered his body. Only the warm welcoming slickness. I push my hips up and watch as his face contorts, in a beautiful array of silent expressions, as I am no doubt doing myself._

_Oh how I longed for you..._

Oh how I longed for you...

When he thrusted up, I felt amazing. It stung a bit, but it was nothing compared to the glorious sensation of being completely filled. Something I cannot get from her. From her, I get something else entirely. I can feel him hitting my prostate, he always did get that first time. The rush of pleasure that claims my body is so intense, that for a moment I am totally overwhelmed by it. Once I get my bearings and the pleasure becomes deliciously warm throughout my body, I begin to move on him, slow at first but quickly picking the pace up.

I have to have him, hard and fast, his strong hands holding my hips firmly as he guides me. Rocking me upon his hard cock and pounding up into me, as I push down to meet him. The couch protests, but I don't give a crap. I let go, allowing my need to fully take control of my actions and loose myself to the urges building in my gut. Never before have I gotten to the brink so quickly, but then again, I haven't been with him for so long, it was bound to not last too long when I finally visited him.

Oh how much I love you...

_Oh how much I love you..._

_The way he moves, the glisten of sweat upon his skin, his hair sticking in all the places where it touched flesh. I take his abandoned cock in my hand, still holding his hip with the other and stroke him in time to my thrusts. He groans desperately and ups the pace further, rocking both our worlds, as we near our climax together. Close and closer to the edge we go. Bodies hot and sweaty and smelling of musk. The dirty little wet sounds that are coming from where I stroke and where we are joined together._

_Joined as one, moving to our joint completion. I know this won't last long, but then again if I can convince him to stay, there is the whole night to go again and again, should we choose to. I have to keep him close, I cannot let him go now. A slight pang of guilt for his wife and the children he has with her. But, he is here with me now and I am inside him, something she could never give him in a million years. I can feel that knot in my gut tightening, I can feel my impending rapture closing in on me._

_I'm so close...so damned close..._

I'm close...so damned close...

The heat and the knot in my gut tightens and I know, this is it, this is the pinnacle. That white hot moment when my world will be ripped apart, when my body will be shattered and rebuilt. I'm falling now, over that edge and into the abyss with him, falling deeper than I ever do when I am with her.

_Cascading pleasure fills my body and I am dragged willingly over the edge with him, as he tightens around me, milking me of everything I have to give. My voice fades off, as my pleasured groan cracks it and I loose it slightly. His own is doing much the same, save for I can still hear him. As we fall over together into the darkness of pure joy._

_He is my world, my desire..._

he is my world, my desire...

_But...is this right or wrong?_

But...is this right or wrong?

Which way to turn...

_Which way...will he turn?_

**Fin**

**00000000**


End file.
